I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted, here’s why. For the last few months I’ve been in this stressed out, pissed off mood and I couldn’t figure out why. I think I figured it out. I try to take everything moment by moment, but when you look at everything that has gone on for the last eight months, things start to become clearer and you begin to understand that I took on a LOT of things and my brain was trying to tell me to slow down.
As you may or may not know I’ve been very open politically. One thing I thought I knew was that you can’t take politics personally. Let me rephrase that, I knew it but I didn’t follow it. Top that with my wife having so many medical issues being in and out of the hospital and can barely stand for long periods of time, I’ve taken on the apartment and cooking responsibilities along with working full-time and trying to keep up on the bills.
Something had to give. Something happened this weekend. I finally met Tiffany Johnson in person, what a truly AWESOME experience that was. Even though it was a gallery reading neither my wife nor I asked her anything. To be honest, the questions that we wanted to ask we were too afraid of the answers. I’m cool with that. I have a love hate relationship with not knowing.
Anyway to get back to my point, Tracy and Tiff were talking about filters and keeping stuff bottled up and how it’s not healthy, you know Ulcers and the like. I realized that if I take politics that seriously then I need to step back. It will become the proverbial white whale, in its soul sucking, brain draining way it does. My skin may be thick but not that thick. So that’s what I did, I stepped back.
I may keep informed but pay it no nevermind. I’ll still have my opinions if people ask but that’s it. Mentally I had shutdown, I couldn’t be my normal goofy self, I was misaligned. So I’m attempting to realign myself and get centered, maybe a little more spiritual, not religious, but spiritual. I need answers to questions that I’m not even sure I know, and I’m not going to find them by making a case for what is the right way to go in this country.
You know that old adage “You can’t take it with you”? Then why let it lead you to an early grave.