Raising strong women: he’s mean to you…because he’s mean

There has been a quote floating around Facebook lately that says: “Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.” My opinion is the focus of that quote should be on the last sentence “may we raise them” – if you raise a strong woman, then the rest will fall into place…most of the time, at least. Hopefully. The same goes for boys and men as well, but that’s a different topic for a different day.

My thoughts this morning aren’t necessarily about raising strong women, or being one (don’t shoot…but feminism really isn’t my cup of tea) but that quote got me thinking and then, more importantly, it got me worried. How many times have you heard the phrase “oh, he only is mean to you because he likes you” said to young girls whenever a male playmate/classmate is mean to her? Or heard that phrase directly said to you? There is so much wrong in that one sentence that I am having a hard time figuring out where to start.  Should that be part of raising a strong woman?

Associating hostility, anger, or violent behavior with a love should never be acceptable and should never be taught to young girls, even when it’s just little Johnny on the playground pulling Suzy’s hair or him telling her she is ugly. Being in love or feeling love toward another person is the most beautiful, joyous experience and hatred should not be included in the equation. So why are young girls taught whenever a boy is mean to you, it means he likes you? Now, obviously young children aren’t in love but one day they will experience it and they should know it does not involve someone being mean to you. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that every girl is going to grow up and think she should be hit or talked down to, just because she was told that it means she is liked or loved, but I’m saying to stop the cycle at a young age: teach your girls to only accept the best, and teach them what it means to be truly loved.

Now, we come to the age old question:

Why do nice guys finish last?

My answer would be because young girls are subliminally taught (through subject quote) to go after the quote-unquote bad boys, because they are the ones that will show you they truly love you…but NO! Do not be mislead, it’s not true! Love should not be about fighting, cheating, holding grudges, or trying to one-up one another. If you fight all the time, there is obviously something wrong. A man should only make you cry tears of happiness (pssst ladies, don’t make your man cry either!). And, again, don’t get me wrong…just because you fight doesn’t mean you don’t actually love that person but it means there is a deep seeded issue that needs to be resolved, and keep in mind: loving someone is not the same as being in love with them. If you continue to fight all the time, maybe you need to realize your worth and move on. It’s sad to say, and a hard truth to learn, but sometime love just isn’t enough.

I may have put all my focus on young girls, but guys, you know this all goes for you as well! I guess I’ll get off my soapbox, as I finish with this: BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION.

What are YOUR thoughts?