Just One More Thought…

I know, I know, it’s been a few years since my last post but I think it’s time for a new one. I’ve been on the fence about writing something new for quite a while. I’ve had one written out about half way through when I realized that nobody cared about that topic, it was, at best, trivial. This one however has the nation on edge and it’s time I said something. I contemplated doing this as a Vlog but I usually go unscripted and would get so far off track, it’d take too long to get to the point, and you’d stop listening half way through. Basically it would have been the equivalent to clickbait.

How many more mass shootings do we need to have before we actually confront the real and hard to swallow problem? For 30 years it’s been about the “guns”. Because, guns drove them all to it. They walked right into the hands of these people and said “Fire”. Let’s be clear at this moment in time I am not a gun owner. Not that I don’t want to own one, I simply have to prioritize bills and food before I think about firearms.

I will not debate what the purpose of a gun is. It’s to put holes in things. So after Florida, the debate is starting to shift as nobody seems to agree as to the root cause. (I have a theory on this and I’ll get back to you on that in a little bit) Now it’s about keeping the schools safe because gun free zones don’t seem to be working.

So now the talk is about arming teachers and staff. They have not signed up for this. That is not what they wanted to do when they set out to become instructors. If they choose to be armed so be it, but it takes a certain type of person to be able to point a firearm at a living person and squeeze the trigger. They aren’t going to be mentally prepared for that.

So then, do we put armed Veterans or retired police officers in schools? That would solve the issue of mental preparedness. However there would have to be an extensive background and psych-eval to make sure PTSD doesn’t rear it’s ugly head. The last thing we need is some punk kid pushing the wrong buttons and all of a sudden the person charged with keeping the school safe goes on his own spree.

Honestly, I don’t think there are any great solutions. I’m not going to say yay or nay either way. It’s not my place or position in life to really figure it out. There is one thing that has been gnawing at me in the back of my head. That seems to really correlate to this issue. Every one of these shootings is almost always related to some kind of vendetta. We could say that there were some bullies that pushed them, or life got too much for them. I think we can go farther back for this.

So what is it I’m trying to get to? We did this. Society as a whole. Not with TV or Video games. Hell, I was raised on those things and I was bullied. No, I knew how to lose and move on. I took rejection, harshly, but I took it. I also had good friends to get through it with. If there was one kid that I could point to that could have possibly gone on a shooting spree way back in ’95-’96 time frame, it’s that one kid who got it way worse than I did. I’m not going to name his name but I promise I’ll never forget it, because I stood up for him.

This kid was the classic “nerd” glasses, skinny, and a little uncoordinated. One day a heavy snow storm hit and knocked out the power to the school. We were all in the choir room where there are no windows so it went pitch dark. Immediately this kid, we’ll call him George for the purposes of the story, bolted to the door like he knew what was about to happen. I was unaware. Somewhere in the dark I get punched in the chest. Didn’t bother me one bit it wasn’t strong enough to actually hurt. It was decided that we should wait in the hallway where it’s well lit by the windows while the school decides if it’s going to close or if they can get the power back on. The choir teacher went somewhere, I honestly can’t remember where, and I saw this group of known thuggish types surrounding George. One of them was picking on him mercilessly, so I stepped in and told him to back off. He got in my face and asked “Do you think you can take me?” My reply “I don’t care.” He backed off and took his crew with him.

Several years later I saw George, he had gained some muscle and seemed to get along with his co-workers just fine. I did find out later that he’s now Goergette but that’s another thing all together.

Today’s kids, I’m talking early childhood now, aren’t being taught how to lose or how to win. We have coddled them to the point that when life hits them in the face at a later age they don’t know how to react! We tell them that they are all winners and you get awarded just for being there! In the littlest leagues they don’t keep score, so nobody knows what it feels like to lose gets their feelings hurt.

We aren’t teaching them that in life there are winners and losers and those losers need to know how to pick themselves up and move on or try again.  Yes, as a parent it sucks when your kid is upset but it’s better they deal with those emotions early on rather than when they can lash out harder and stronger.  They need to know that it’s okay to lose, that there is a balance in life and there has to be winners and losers.  This doesn’t just apply to the mass shootings.  Remember college campuses after the election.  The term snowflake was coined because they didn’t know how to lose without falling apart and needed safe spaces.  How about all those riots?

Because they needed the safe spaces means that they also don’t know how to win.  “But, Ken, competition breeds anger.” Maybe, but it also sets a stage where they can do their best and still lose, but then they will work that much harder for next time.  I’m reminded of two great quotes, Granted they are from fictional characters but they are 100% dead-on.

 

 

I don’t know how to solve the world’s problems.  I’m not even going to pretend that I can.  Truth is, I cannot change anything here.  Sure, security might be upgraded, who knows? Maybe schools will have metal detectors and TSA agents.  All I know is that emotions are running awfully higher than they had in the past and increased even more with social media.

On another note, this will be my final post with WordPress.  When I first started out, they were great, I had a lot of really good options.  When I came back to post this, my options dwindled dramatically unless I upgrade to a business plan.  It’s okay, I get it, like most businesses they need to make money.  Personally I’d rather be out living life than trying to think of my next post.   Also seeing as how much I post that would be extremely cost inefficient.  I thank you all for the time to read every post.  Especially the posts written by the very talented Char.  I’ll leave the site up, some things have deteriorated but the text is still there.  Again, thank you for allowing us inside your heads and hearts and I hope to see you around the cyberverse.

Peace OUT!

Ken Loomis

 

 

 

The Halloween Spirit May be on Life Support But Isn’t Dead Yet


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Yes, you read that right.  The spirit of Halloween is on life support.  Most adults today just don’t want to be bothered to put a bunch decorations up in their yard during the cold season.  I don’t know about where you live but here in Minnesota it gets a little chilly around Halloween.  Remember when we were kids and streets on Halloween night were full of all sorts of ghosts and aliens even a few monsters here and there? Around here if you go trick or treating around your neighborhood you’ll see that one Avenger far off in the distance almost to the horizon.

 

Where’d they go you might ask? the mall most likely, it’s safe, inside in the warm air and you could do some shopping while you’re there.  While I understand the feeling safe part, isn’t that loosing just a bit of that Halloween spirit?  Isn’t Halloween supposed to be at least a little scary? Just a tiny bit? Isn’t that part of the fun?

 

Yes, I’m aware of the origins of Halloween and how it’s evolved into what it is today and the original intent was to signify a harvest and was originally and is still  called Samhain.  Halloween is now a separate entity all together.   Now it’s about people’s love of being frightened, dressing up as something or someone you’re not, and having fun with it, or free candy.  There is no pagan ritual, there’s no devil worship, there is some debauchery involved but that’s all in the fun.

 

christmas tree at shopping mall (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Retail stores are pushing the bigger holidays earlier and earlier every year.  This kind of over shadowing is pushing out Halloween and Thanksgiving while also over hyping the Christmas season to the point where when Christmas comes around, you’re already sick of the whole holiday.

 

So yes, the spirit IS on life support, but it’s not dead, no, it’s undead.  It’s coming back.  I know, I’ve felt it. I’ve used it. Yup, this weekend while costume shopping for the family I got that spark.  I don’t know what else to call it except that one moment of inspiration. We were at Party City, my wife was trying to help our youngest with their costume and I wandered off in typical Loomis fashion and saw a women’s Gothic accessory.  I started putting together a costume for my wife that would be dark. I had an image in my head and I was in a zone.

 

Like a madman I couldn’t form complete sentences. I was grabbing accessories that I would hope worked. Once we left there we went to this Halloween store that is open all year round.  Oh yeah, baby. That’s right! Daddy’s got a new hobby

Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

store now. Annnd we’re all a little creeped out now.  Anyway, I was like the Doctor on Doctor Who, more specifically Matt Smith‘s Doctor.  I even had to attempt to form a broken sentence to one of the store’s many helpers.  She just smiled and pointed me in the right direction.  I probably wasn’t the first one to say, “Women. tops. black” after being ask if she could help me find anything.

 

After running around back and forth in the store usually saying to myself something like “Head piece. dark, not cutesy.” or “something dark. Dark. Need dark.” Over and over again, I finally had most of it together and I was bringing myself back out of the zone with a clearer picture of what she will look like.  Now that little spark made me just a little excited for Halloween again.  There were a lot of people in the store,  some were there for the fun, others were there cause they must have a costume for some party. I do know one thing, I’m starting early for next year. because now I have more time and just a little more money to make next Halloween even more frightfully scary.

 

People love to be scared, in that spirit somewhere deep in the shadows is the Halloween spirit’s heart faintly beating but slowly thumping away, getting stronger. In all of us is a dark side, we control it, we need it, it;s part of who we are and this one day it’s okay to let it creep out even just a little.  Feel that Halloween spirit and let it flow. You might be surprised with what you can do with it.


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The Last of a Dying Breed; a Military Brat’s Realization on Societal Evolution

Young military brat gives thumbs up while wearing pilots helmet at base special event (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People haven’t come out to say it but I know that they are wondering why I don’t stay in contact as often as I should.  The answer is really quite simple.   I was a Navy Brat.  Growing up as a Navy brat (Not that the military branch matters they all operate the same when it comes to families) you learn not to become too close to people because you WILL leave eventually.  It was inevitable.  The military parent will be re-stationed every so often, unless your specialty is localized to one area, you’re going to move.

 

From the time I was born until I was in the second grade my father was stationed in Everett Washington, sometimes he’d be at sea but we were in the Navy housing in Everett.  Making friends at such a young age was easy, yet still not understanding that we would eventually leave I noticed friends move away and new ones move in.  The neighborhood moms took turns doing daycare to give each other breaks (although my mom would never admit it). When we got older  we were within walking distance of my elementary school, so we would walk in groups and then hung out in the neighborhood daycare.

 

Then my father got his orders to report to Newport, Rhode Island.  I was okay though, we’ve had long road trips before, both sets of my  grandparents lived in Montana which we went to see every so often.  My brother, who teased me quite a bit back then, made the decision to stay behind, he was old enough and was ready to be on his own.  So as far as siblings go it was then me and my Epileptic, mentally retarded sister (Not a dig towards her she really was retarded). So, I had to learn on my own how to have friends but distance myself enough to got get too attached.

 

Some of the historic buildings in Newport, near the coast (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now this was in the early eighties, way before MySpace and Facebook, internet, and before the PC was commonplace.  There was no email, or texting.  Cell phones were for the uber-rich and even then it was sketchy.  We only had land line phones and the USPS.  Sure the parents kept in touch with some of the other parents but for kids it was a little more challenging.

 

When we got to Rhode Island it was still easy to make friends in the neighborhood, mainly because I was still young enough to do so, but I had to be quick thinking when it came to the teachers in my school, nobody had told me that it wasn’t as casual as my last school, I was asked to do something and I said “sure”  my teacher kept saying “I’m sorry, what was that?”  I looked around at the kids looking at me and figured out that I had to say “Yes, Mrs. Foley”.

 

A Couple years later we were on the move again to Minnesota.  For whatever reason, I had felt good about leaving the school and friends again.  Not that I didn’t like them, it was just that I was ready to go.  It was a little more difficult to really acclimate into my new school.  Being the new kid in the last half of fifth grade was really awkward.  Most of the kids have been there the entire school career and have established those friendship bonds that I didn’t quite get.

Minnesota State Capitol, St. Paul, MN (Photo credit: Photo Phiend)

In fact it wasn’t until middle school that I finally did.  In middle school I was highly into acting in the plays and really enjoying them.  At the time I didn’t realize it but I made some life long friends there.  Then my dad’s orders were coming up.  I told my parents that I really liked it there and didn’t want to move again.  My father’s retirement ceremony was in the afternoon so the first half of that day we performed for the students and the last half I got out to be there.  I hadn’t left Minnesota yet.  The next few years I graduated, met my wife (Army Brat), joined the Air Force only to returned home because I have asthma, and had my kids.  That’s right, a Navy brat married an Army brat and tried to tun my kids into Air Force Brats.  My brother owns his own custom painting company; Loomis Executive Jet Refinishing Yes I gave it a shameless free plug. Which by the way really should get an internet presence. A few years ago my sister passed away, I posted the epilepsy foundation donation in the causes we support part of the menu.

 

Now we have the internet, email, MySpace came along and started a whole new way of connecting to people, Facebook improved it, and cell phones are now nation wide.  The Military Brats today doesn’t have to worry about losing the limited time friends like we did.  One click of a button and they are always connected.  It’s a brave new world with no limits.  They don’t have to learn to keep a distance while still remaining close.

 

I do remember several of my friends from back in the day, they will forever be with me and if by some chance I do see or hear from them again, well, I’d be okay with it. OH Yeah, if you ever get the chance to go to Rhode Island look up the Brick Alley Pub.  I ate there once as a kid, they had these large burgers and  huge sundaes. I was full for the rest of the night. Oh yeah, the Newport Creamery had some amazing ice creams.  I must go back one day.

Deception Hurts Discussion

So I get to work this morning and check Facebook to see this video;

The first words out of my mouth were “NO WAY!! Even he is not that stupid!!”  Now this might seem like a shock, it certainly shocked me, I knew this video was a fraud plant to fit an agenda.  So I went on to find out the context of this speech and found it.  You don’t have to watch the whole thing, unless your into that sort of thing, then  more power to ya. The first five to ten minutes ought to do ya.

 

 

This kind of thing needs to stop if we are going to have an open and HONEST discussion on ALL sides of the isle. This was obvious, I mean, I’m not an Obama supporter by any means, never have been, if I can tell this kind of thing out do you honestly think the rest of the world won’t?

First True Love

With Father’s Day coming up in just three short days, of course I have memories of my dad running through my mind.  It’s hard to believe that this will be the sixth year that I have not been able to call, text or go see him just to say “I love you”…or simply “I miss you”. I remember shortly after he left this world so abruptly, I would call his phone over and over with hopes that he would finally answer.  Of course, he never did.

Before I move onto sharing a few of my memories, I’m reminded of a status I wrote a few months back:

At first I cringed, then I sighed.  That glittery strand of hair I see sparkling in my reflection isn’t my blonde growing back in…it’s gray.   I took another look and realized I should be happy, and I am.  Growing older is a privilege denied to so many and I should be appreciative that I am alive and breathing.  Now I just want a really cool gray streak to grow through my hair!

How true it is! Too many are afraid of growing old that they miss out on the “then and now”.  I am by no means in any rush to be my future self, but I am not scared of the day that I look in the mirror and see a slightly more wrinkled, possibly gray-er, version of myself.

My father was taken from my mom, and us 6 kids, at the young age of 59…a few months shy of his 60^th birthday, and only a few weeks after him and my mom celebrated their 40^th wedding anniversary. 40 years! How amazing is that? They grew up in an era when you did not run away from something merely because it may have had a broken piece; you stayed and worked on it until it was fixed and full again.  I am so thankful that my parents raised us children with such strong morals and guidelines so we could turn into the adults we have become; I do not have enough words to define the amazing role models they were in every part of our lives.

My dad was my first true love, as is the case with any girl and her father if you’re lucky enough.  I was his baby girl that he spoiled rotten when he could, disciplined when he needed, and threw the baseball with when I wanted.  Everyone knew him as “the weatherman” but he was first and foremost a family man.  Anyone that knew/knows my family can tell you that without hesitation.  Our lives weren’t always perfect, we weren’t always running around in flower fields laughing and blowing bubbles, but looking back through my memories – we were, and still are, Smith strong…we always stick together.

One of my funniest memories of my dad follows:

Whenever someone would recognize my dad from TV, they would say “hey, aren’t you Robert Smith?” What would he reply? He would laugh and say “no, you have the wrong guy, I’m just a traveling magician”.  He would the proceed with one of his million magic tricks that I have seen at least million and a half times.  I would do anything to see one of his magic tricks, just one more time.

I will end with one of my favorite “dad” memories, which just so happens to be the night before he died.  I had just arrived out at their house in the country, it was a cool night, the stars were all out and he wanted to show me the new hole that he had dug for the project he was starting the next day.  The pride in his eyes I will never forget.  After we went inside, my dad and I sat in his study and watched oldies music videos for what seems like hours to me now. In reality, who knows how long it really was.

Now, before I go I want to remind you all – please don’t take advantage of your time on earth. You never know when you will breathe your last breath, when you will kiss your last kiss, laugh for last laugh…you get my point, right?  Tell your family you love them every day, but more importantly .. SHOW THEM.

Free the…nipples?

Did my title intrigue you? Usually whenever people see, or hear, the word “nipple” all the sudden they are like a puppy dog that just heard the word “bacon” from 100 yards away. Ears perked up, tongue slobbering wet, tail wagging, get a running start, let’s get some…NIPPLES BACON!

that’s my sweet angel, Betty White (a bratty miniature schnauzer that loves bacon)

OK, I need to get back on track – this topic is not about my dog. Sorry, maybe another time I’ll tell you all about her, but for now I need to talk about nipples.

Has anyone read about the Free The Nipples campaign that has been making it’s way around the interwebs? If not, click the link above, read about it and then come back to my rant discussion. If you aren’t the researching type, here is a brief description:

FREE THE NIPPLE, A MOVEMENT WHICH FIGHTS FOR WOMEN TO BE ALLOWED TO GO TOPLESS IN PUBLIC

Let me get this straight – this is something people are actually fighting for? Out of all the tragedies this world is facing, we’re going to argue about the freedom for women to run around topless? I guess so, I mean, I am writing about it so I guess I’m part of the problem. However, while I am pro HUMAN rights, I’m not pro-women-showing-their-nipples in public.

What happened to fighting for the starving and homeless men, women and children? Is that not *cool* anymore?

If you’re not used to my writing style, you’ll have to accept my apology in advance, my mind wonders but I do always end up back on topic – promise!

The pro-nip groups are arguing that a woman’s nipples are no more sexual than a man’s, and women should have all the same rights that men do.  I can see where their basis for an argument comes from, but it is not deeply seeded.  Fact is, men and women look at women’s breasts in a very sexual way and having the ability to walk around with your bare breasts out is not going to change that fact.

Let’s start with one of the main problems that would come with women walking around topless – increased sexual assault.  Look at the cases of rape and verbal/physical sexual assault that women already face on a daily basis…and this is with them not having their breasts completely out.  I am a victim (yes, victim!) of having large breasts, so no matter how high my neckline is, 9 times out of 10 my cleavage is out whether I want it to be or not.  I have seen the stares, heard the comments and I could not imagine what would come with having them BAM! all the way out!

I do not believe for one moment that a the way a woman dresses should affect the way men (or women) treat her, it’s not acceptable at all. But, let’s get real for a minute.  We live in a crazy world, and the more provocative a women dresses the more attention she will receive.   This does not excuse the behavior of the perverts in this world, but the negative behavior is inevitable.

We also need to look into this – when is the behavior considered negative and when is it considered acceptable flirting?  In my early years, when I would actually leave the house to go somewhere other than work and the gym, I would go out with my girlfriends.  Some of them would have necklines that plunged down to their nether regions (OK, maybe not that low, but you get my point).  If a guy that deemed “hot” would comment on how sexy they were, my friend would accept the, what I call, negative perverted comments.  BUT if a minute later someone they deemed “ew, gross” would comment on her sexy attire, they would consider it sexual harassment and want to call the bouncer over.  WHAT?! How is that OK?  It’s simple – it’s not.

I am aware that once, in the early 1900’s, men were not allowed to walk around with their shirts off either – it was considered indecent. I completely agree with that and I still consider it offensive! I would rather live in a world where men didn’t walk around with their shirts off. Sorry guys, but nobody wants to see that but you!  So, question is – why don’t we fight to remove that “right” instead of fighting for women to join in on it?

So, just because men have this right – do you think it means women should also? And, if women get the right, do you think they’ll actually walk around with their tops off? Or is it just a matter of principle, of having the right?  Tell me your thoughts.

Recent Changes

Hello, I’m Ken and I’m the administrator for This Insane World.  Recently I’ve come to realize that blogging may not totally be for me, but I love the administration part of it.  So, I read a post on Facebook that just needed to be here.  I had an idea to open my page up for authors to come post whatever they want whenever they want (within the confines of PG ratings). So, I invited the author of the post, Char,  to be an author here.  You may have read her work. She’s fantastic at this.  I’m glad she came aboard.

So I’ve stepped back a little (because I couldn’t step back any farther) with the posting and have kept up the administrating. For now, I will post off and on. With the idea that this page could go so much further, I’ve created the menu (Where you can sign up to be an author.  Don’t worry everyone is accepted I really just need an email address to invite you) , chosen a theme that isn’t hard on the eyes or too dark, changed the front page to a static “About” page, and I’ve hunted down donation pages for causes that we support and added them to the menu for easy access.  Okay they weren’t too hard to find, but still, they mean something to us.

I hope to make even more changes in the future.  If you have any suggestions feel free to contact me in the “Contact us” link on the top of the page.  Thank you for reading and I have at least one more post I’m working on, I hope you’ll like it.

Half The Woman She Is

With the transition to my new position in the Columbus office (yes I got the job I ranted about in my last post, a job that I now LOVE), I’m a few posts short of my goal of one a week…ok, more like 6 posts short. BUT I’m back, and that’s what counts right? I’m sure you were all dying to know what i had to gripe about next.  Well, you’re out of luck (or in luck, depending on your view) – there’s no griping today!

Scott and I were out on the town last night, cruisin’ the night life, picking up chicks…wait, wrong life.  Let me start this again: Scott and I were out running errands last night – you know,t he usual wild Friday night shenanigans.  This week has been work, the gym, work, the gym, rinse and repeat, so I haven’t been out to any stores.  The first thing I noticed is that the stores were all bombarded with flowers, chocolates, gift baskets, etcetera etcetera. I’ll give you three guesses why all of these goodies were around, but hopefully you will only need one.  That’s right! Tomorrow is Mother’s Day!

This week I decided to do some research on the meaning behind Mother’s Day.  Honestly, being the curious human that I am, I cannot believe it has taken me so long to do a little googling (is that word listed in the dictionary yet?) to understand the meaning of this specific Hallmark Holiday.  After a few articles, I realized I had it all wrong – Mother’s Day actually has some meaning to it, and it’s not just a Hallmark Holiday.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a history lesson; just read on and give me a few minutes to tell you what I learned and then I will get to my point.  Spoiler alert: my point has nothing to do with big corporations draining us of money for this simple holiday but fret not! That post is something I am working on and hopefully I will have it together sooner or later.

I read quite a few articles, and each one had a similar basis but each contained a different meaning behind Mother’s Day; I found my research quite interesting.  In one article, the author states the celebration dates back to ancient Greeks and Romans paying homage to the Mother of Gods.  The author goes on to mention that more modern days celebrations have religious roots that tie in with Lent and in the United States it began with showing honor to mothers that struggled with women’s suffrage and life in a secular world.  So, did any of you know that it had an actual meaning?  Part of me still wonders if Hallmark (I’m using them as a scapegoat) plays off these ancient celebrations just to make an extra buck…but like I said that’s a topic for another day.  There is much more information on the link I included but I only listed the basics to save you some time and a possible headache.

Ok, mini History lesson over and onto my point.

The “point” of this blog post is the literal reason I am here today – my mother.  Now I know we all say our mother is the best, the most beautiful, so on and so on but, you guys…my mom is the real deal.  Being one of the oldest in her family of 14 (12 kids, grandma had her hands full!), my mom has always been the motherly type and went on to have 7 children of her own after she married my dad, me being child number six.

With every day that passes I find myself becoming more and more like my mom, and you know what? That is something I am most proud of. Growing up, most teenage girls are terrified to become their mothers…all I could think is “I hope I can be just HALF of the woman that she is.”

To this day, my mom always puts her children above her own needs – she does this almost to a fault.  Growing up my mom never tried to be our “best friend”, but she showed us an overabundance of love, compassion and let’s not forget…discipline when needed.  Somehow she knew exactly what we needed, how we needed it and how to follow through and in the end she has pretty awesome kids if I do say so myself.  Now I consider my mom one of my best friends, she is the first one I call whenever I have news to share or if I just need a listening ear I know she will be there to talk me through it.  I have nowhere touched the amount my mom has done for us, but I think you all understand how amazing this woman is – especially those of you that are lucky enough to know her.

So, Mom –  I don’t need a special day to tell you this but I’m sure I don’t do it enough: thank you for everything you have ever done, and still do, for me and the rest of us brats.  I don’t know what I ever did to deserve someone like you, but I’m not going to question it!

Are tattoos still taboo? Really?

It has been nearly nine years since I have gone on a job interview, so to say the least I was a little nervous when I got an offer yesterday to come up and talk about a job opening later in the afternoon.   Several thoughts raced through my mind.  What if they don’t like me? What if I stick my foot in my mouth? How am I supposed to talk myself up without sounding too cocky?

Oh yeah, I better not forget about this thought:  what about my tattoos?

I thought surely my tattoos would not be an issue, but just in case I made sure to wear a long sleeved jacket to cover my wrists and used a band-aid to cover up the one on my palm.  You know, just in case.  This is 2014 after all…do people really consider tattoos taboo?

I’ll deviate from my point for a moment, just in case you were wondering how my interview went.  It went very well and she was extremely impressed with my skill-set. So, yeah, high five me!  Before I left, she asked if she could call my current manager.  If I got this job it would be an inter-company transfer so, yes of course, call my manager right away!  When I turned in my resignation, a part of me was sad that I would lose the last nine years I had spent with this company, building toward my retirement.  So when this opportunity came along to continue on with them, I felt joy!

Now back to the story: it’s been 24 hours since the interview and I just received a call from my manger; the call is what sparked this post.  He said he spoke with the woman I interviewed with and he went on to confirm everything that I thought yesterday: the interview went great and the hiring manager really like me and was super impressed. High five again! What? Too much? Ok, I’ll stop with the high fiving. Then, toward the end of our conversation he made a comment that made me want to, well, throw up the lunch I had just consumed.

“you might want to consider wearing sleeves.”

What? Did I really just hear that?  I would need to wear sleeves?  To make sure I was understanding him correctly, I took a second then asked if this was about my tattoos, he laughed and said it was.  He went on to explain: the boss of the woman that interviewed me is very old fashioned, wants everyone in a suit (um, ok) and he is not supportive of tattoos or anything of the sort.  There goes the nose ring idea I had…

So, now I come to my dilemma. If I am offered the job, which it sounds like I will be, then I will have to make sure my tattoos are covered so not to upset the big man on campus.  My tattoos are a part of who I am.  Do I give up a part of me, just to continue my tenure with the company? Do I really want to be in an office with such judgmental people?  I lost count around my 12th tattoo, but I know I’m not done yet, not by a long shot.  My tattoos are my story, my passion.  There are enough judgmental people in this world, that I don’t think I should let this type of negativity into my life.  When will people stop the madness and just accept others for who they are?

Surprise! If you’re skinny – you aren’t a real woman! Wait…what?

The following is a post I wrote a while back, another one of my sleepy turned coffee inspired “rants”.  It never got further than my Facebook status, so I decided I”ll add it here.  Don’t be frightened by the title of this article: not all of my future posts are all going to be pro-woman, but I am pro-human…so it all ties together, right?  If this isn’t the type of article you prefer, then move on – or take a minute to read, you might be surprised.

A while back Dove started a “real beauty campaign“, which I have to say was, and IS, a brilliant idea!  However, like with all great ideas, there is a downside as well.  The campaign started with photos of women without makeup on, and also they claimed they were not ‘photoshopping’ any of the pictures. Great! Finally advertising done right! However, shortly after this campaign began, the internet because flooded with photos of skinny women vs not so skinny women.  So, where’s the problem with that? Well, these photos were claiming that the skinny women are not real women, and you are only a real woman if you have curves.

As a woman of curves (more than my fair share, but shhhh that’s a secret), am I supposed to be inspired by these quotes? Is it supposed to make me shout and yell “rah-rah! real women have curves!!“?  Because I’m not inspired. I’m not going to shout that from the top of a mountain. As a matter of fact:

I’m offended.

Since when does a woman’s body type determine if she is “real” or not? I am by no means lacking in the curve department, as I mentioned above, and I’m glad to see more media acceptance being shown for women that aren’t “model skinny”, BUT saying a woman isn’t real just because she doesn’t have an hour glass shape, full perky boobs, or a big round butt, is just as horrible as poking fun at someone because they are too fat, too ugly, too boring, too tall, too short, too poor…you get the point. My body is neither superior nor inferior to anyone else’s and it definitely DOES NOT define me.

My point here ties back to the first article I wrote (click here to check it out).  How are we to expect the girls of this  generation, and future generations, to grow into confident, strong, caring women if we keep encouraging the idea that a woman is only real because of her body type? Or that a man will only love/like her if she looks a certain way? There is already pressure from society for women to be perfect, so why not encourage each other instead of judging outward appearances? Come to think of it, I have to say this goes for men as well. What makes a person, man or woman, real is : their heart, attitude, personality, choices, and even their confidence (and even lack thereof!). So, as I step down off my soapbox yet again, I will say this in conclusion: girls – put on some clothes, have respect for yourselves and prove yourself through your actions not your body. And, no, I will not “like” or “share” those silly pictures that say “only real women have curves”.